He was ashamed. Janie was right. He had no call to react the way he did. Now he realized that he was the one who was stupid.He walked out of the bedroom and knocked at the bathroom door. "Janie?"He could hear her sobbing. "Don't worry Jo-el; I'll be out of here in a few minutes. I'll go stay with mom." Janie, open the door." No." Yes, please Janie, open it. I'm sorry. I was wrong. I don't want you to leave. I don't want you to leave me Janie."Janie opened the door then and looked at Joel standing there. She'd dressed while she was in the bathroom, in shorts and a pink top. She had wrapped a towel around her head, turban style. In Joel's eyes she saw his sadness and she melted."I won't leave you Joey. I hope I never have to leave you."She put her arms around him and held him tight."But we do need to talk. We need to decide how to live together and love together. We never fought as kids. We weren't real close, because of our age differences, but I always was glad you were my big. My wife stood-up and sighed, “My boyfriend.”I looked at her.“He had a van. We’d drive down to the coast, park on the bluff above the beach, get in the back and fuck.”“You’ve never let me take pictures of you … like this.”“No, I know. It’s…” She hesitated, sighed again, and said, “Sorta traumatic. He talked about the stuff we did … sexually. He showed his friends the photos. I couldn’t figure out why they’d all got so creepy - leering at me, making lewd comments and stuff. Someone told me eventually. I forget who. I confronted him, my boyfriend. We fought, broke-up … it was ugly. It was only the one time he took pictures, but he took a whole roll. I got some of the photos, but not all, and I’m sure there were copies. I wanted the negatives, but couldn’t find them. I broke into his dorm room. He kept them, I’m sure … the fucker.”I looked at the photo again, feeling conflicted - excited, aroused, angry and amused, envious but guilty, etc. I didn’t know the guy, had never met him, didn’t.
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